GUNPOODER, TREASON or BAD COAL

 

AS USUAL WI’ A’ LOONS THEY A’ GIT UP TAE SOME KINNA DIVILMENT, THIS TRUE

STORY IS NAE DIFFIRENT BUT THE CONSEQUENCES IF THEY HAD SUCCEDED DISNA

BEAR THINKIN’ ABOOT. IT STARTED OFF FIN SOME LOONS BROKE INTAE A STORE

AT THE QUARRY AT THE BACK O’ THE SCHOOL, FAR DEAN TERRACE IS BUILT ON

NOO.  THEY MANAGED TAE BREK THE LOCKS AND FIN THEY GOT INSIDE THEY

DISCOVERED IT WIS FULL OF DYNAMITE , GELIGNITE AND GUNPOODER. ALSO

AVAILABLE WERE A LARGE QUANTITY O’ DETONATORS.  THEY HAD ALL BEEN USED

FOR BLASTIN’ IN THE QUARRY, BUT IT HAD BEEN CLOSED DOON FOR MONY YEARS

AND OBVIOUSLY A’ THIS BLASTIN’ GEAR HAD BEEN FORGOTTEN ABOOT. A

DISCUSSION SEEN GOT UP ABOOT FIT THEY WID DEE WITH IT A’ . IT DIDNA TAK

LONG AFORE THEY AGREED THAT THE BEST THING THEY QUID DEE WIS BLOW UP

THE SCHOOL! FIT HEAVEN THEY THOCHT NAE MAIR SCHOOL, THE SCHOOLBOYS

ULTIMATE DREAM!  THEY A’ AGREED THAT IT WID TAK SOME PLANNIN’ AND WID

NEED TAE BE DEEN FIN ABODY WIS OOT O’ THE ROAD SO THEY WIDNA BE

DISTURBED IN THEIR PURSUIT FOR THE ULTIMATE FREEDOM. IN THE MEANTIME

THEY WID KEEP QUIET ABOOT IT , SO THEY SHUT THE DOOR AS BEST THEY QUID

AND MADE THEIR WYE HAME. BEIN’ LOONS SOME O’ THEM QUIDNA RESIST THE

TEMPTATION AND HELPED THEMSELVES TAE SOME DETONATORS.

SKIRLIE WIS SITTIN AT THE FIRESIDE O’ PAULA’S NEW COONCIL, HOOSE THEY HAD

JIST MOVED IN THE WEEK AFORE AND HE HAD GONE UP TAE SEE FIT LIKE IT WAS.

A ROARIN FIRE WIS GAUN IN THE FIREPLACE AND HE WIS QUITE CONTENT SITTIN’

AND SMOKIN’ HIS PIPE O’ BOGEY ROLL.HIS TWA FEET WIDNA HAVE TOUCHED THE

GRUN NOOADAYS WI A’ THIS ANTI SMOKIN’ IN PUBLIC PLACES AND HOOSES.

ONYWYE THE DOOR OPENED AND IN CAM HIS GRANDSON IAN OR BETTER KENT

TAE HIS PALS AS KINKO, AYE, AYE GRANDA HOO YE DOOIN’, FINE HE REPLIED GIEN

ANITHER SOOK AT HIS PIPE AND REMARKIN’ HOO GRAN’ A FIREPLACE IT WIS A’ THE

BONNIE TILES ROON ABOOT IT. HE DIDNA SEE KINKO PITTIN’ HIS HAUN INTAE HIS

POOCHES AND TAKIN’ A DETONATOR OOT HE THREW IT INTAE THE FIRE AND TOOK

TAE HIS HEELS.IT DIDNA TAK LONG AFORE THERE WIS AN ALMICHTY BANG AND

THE NEW GRATE LANDED IN THE MIDDLE O’ THE FLOOR IN BITS. SKIRLIE’S PIPE

DROPPIT OOT O’ HIS MOO IN ASTONISHMENT AND HE QUID HARDLY SPEAK FIN

CONNIE, PAULA’S WIFE CAM RUNNIN’ IN FAE THE KITCHEN FIT HAVE YE DEEN SHE

CRIED OOT FIN SHE SAW THE MESS AND THE GRATE LYIN ON THE FLOOR I HIVNA

DEEN NITHIN’ AND HE EXPLAINED TAE HER ABOOT THE BANG, ON HEARIN’ THIS SHE

QUICKLY CAM TAE THE CONCLUSION THAT IT WIS THE COALMANS FAULT FOR

GEEIN’ HER A BAD LOAD O’ COAL. MEANTIME KINKO KEPT WEEL OOT O’ THE WYE

INCASE O’ ONY REPERCUSSIONS IF THE TRUTH CAM OOT.

NEXT DAY THE LOONS A’ GOT THE GITHER , HAULIN’ OOT THE DYNAMITE AND

GUNPOODER THEY MADE THEIR WYE UP TAE THE SCHOOL AND PROCEEDED TAE

FILL A’ THE VENTILATORS AND ONY NOOKS AND CRANNIES THEY QUID FIND.  AN

EXTRA SPECIAL LOAD WIS PUT INTAE BROONS THE SCIENCE TEACHERS CLASS

BECAUSE NABODY LIKIT HIM. THEY HIDNA ONY IDEA HOO TAE SET IT OFF APERT

FAE FIT THEY HAD SEEN IN COMICS AND PICTURES O’ GUY FAWKES AND HIS

CRONIES TRYIN’ TAE BLOW UP THE HOOSES O’ PARLIAMENT. EFTER FILLIN THE

VENTS THEY LAID OOT TRAILS O’ GUNPOODER LEADIN’ UP TAE THE DYNAMITE AND

FIN THEY WERE READY THEY TRIED TAE LICHT IT WI’ MATCHES, BUT EFTER LYIN’

SO LONG IT WIS DAMP AND WIDNA LICHT, WHICH WIS A GOOD JOB FOR THEM AND

HALF O’ THE TOON AS WEEL AS THEY HAD USED THAT MUCH IT WID HAVE BLOWN

UP THEM AND ATHING ROON ABOOT AS WEEL.HOO IT WIS FOUND OOT ABOOT I

DINNA KEN BUT THERE IS NAE DOOT ABOOT IT THEY WID HAVE BEEN IVERY

SCHOOLBOYS HERO IF THEY HAD SUCCEEDED.