DEEP FRIED SKATE

STORNOWAY ON A WILD WINTERS NICHT WIS THE SETTIN’ FOR THIS NEXT TALE.

THE WITHER BEEIN’ SO BAD THAT THE WHOLE FLEET WERE IN FOR SHELTER AND

WI NAE PROSPECTS O’ GITTEN OOT FOR A DAY OR TWA THE CREW O’ AE BOAT

DECIDED TAE GO ASHORE FOR A REFRESHMENT OF THE ALCAHOLIC KIND. LEAVIN

THE YOUNG COOKIE TAE CLEAR UP THE DISHES AND REMIND HIM THAT THEY WID

BE BACK LATER ON AND TAE HAE SOME O’ THAT SKATE THAT WIS DOON THE HOLD

READY FOR THEM FIN THEY CAM BACK ABOORD.  THE COOKIE WIS FUMIN’ HE WIS

NEEDIN ASHORE  WI’ HIS PALS NAE STUCK ABOORD WAITIN’ ON THEM TAE COME

BACK FIN IT SUITED THEIR NEEDS. ONY WYE HE CLEARED UP THE DISHES SYNE

WENT DOON THE HOLD AND SKINNED THE SKATE A READY FOR LATER ON THAT

NICHT.BY THIS TIME HIS CHUMS WERE A’ WAITIN’ ON HIM GITTEN READY MUTTERIN’

AND GAUN ON ABOOT HOO DAFT HE WIS PITTIN UP WI’ THAT KERRY ON.

EVENTUALLY THEY GOT ASHORE AND HEADED FOR THE PICTURES AND THEN THE

CAFE TAE EYE UP THE LOCAL TALENT. SUDDENLY HE REMEMBERED ABOOT THE

CREW COMIN BACK DOON AND SAID TAE THE LADS ‘LL NEED TAE GIT BACK AND PIT

ON THE SKATE.

BACK ABOORD THE BOAT HIS CHUMS WERE FEELIN’ SORRY FOR HIM HA’EN TAE DE

THIS IVERY TIME THEY WERE IN WI’ BAD WEATHER SO THEY DECIDED THEY WID

TEACH THE CREW A LESSON. MIXIN’ UP THE BATTER FOR THE SKATE ANE O’ THE

LADS LOOKIT IN ALOE THE SINK AND FOUND SOME NYLON POT SCRUBBERS, JIST

THE VERY DAB HE THOCHT TAE HIMSEL’ AND PROCEEDED TAE DIP THEM IN BATTER

AND INTAE THE PAN O’ FAT. THEY HAD JIST FEENISHED FRYIN’ FIN THE CREW

ARRIVED BACK ABOORD ALL THE WORSE O’ WEAR EFTER THEIR NICHT ASHORE, IS

WIR SKATE READY COOK WERE A’ STERVIN’ AE LAD SHOUTED TAE THE POOR LOON

AYE  AND IV’E DEEN SOME CHEEKS AS WEEL HE REPLIED, TAKIN’ THE DISH OOT O’

THE OVEN AND KERRYIN IT DOON TAE THE CABIN.  LAYIN THE DISH ON THE TABLE

HE TOOK OFF UP INTAE THE GELLEY AFORE THEY STARTED. LISTENIN’ TAE FIT

THEY WERE SAYIN’ HE HEARD AE LAD REMARK, THAT SKATES  CHEEKS ARE  AWFU

TEUCH  THEY QUID HAE DEEN WI’ A BITTY MAIR FRYIN’, BIT I WID ATE ONYTHIN’ AE

NOO I’M JIST STERVIN. THE COOK DIDNA WAIT ONY LONGER HE AND HIS CHUMS

WENT UP ON THE PIER AS FAST AS THEY QUID GO AFORE THEY REALISED FIT HE

HAD DEEN, AND PRAYIN’ THAT THEY WIDNA MIN’ IN THE MORNIN’ FIN THEY

SOBERED UP!