MADE TAE MISHER

There must be mair stories gaun aboot the toon aboot Beel Flood than ony ither character.

Some o’ them were gye far fetched but, a lot o’ it wis pit doon tae his habit o’ bein’ a stranger

tae the truth himsel’. Niver ane tae shirk fae elaboratin’ on onything, it is hardly surprising

that his fame or notoriety grew up with him. I can vouch for the autheticity of this ane as I

heard it fae twa o’ the participants involved, namely Uncle Kinnaird and the late John

Maclennan.

Beel wis walkin’ roon the herbour ae day fin he decided tae gyne in bye Duns fa ran the

slip. Kennin it wis near tea time he had timed it tae a fault and there wis the twa lummers

stannin’ waitin’ on him.

“Aye,Aye Beel, fit like the day” they greetit him as he cam in the door.

“Nae bad, fit like yersel’s” he replied.

Turnin’ tae John, Uncle remarked,”Am I seein’ things or has Beel grown an awfu lot since

he wis here last”.

“I believe yer richt”, John quickly answered, lookin’ Beel up and doon.

Beel wis noo richt made up wi’ himsel, “div ye think so?,I wis jist thinkin’ that mysel’ lately”,

“Aye”, the twa rogues replied in unison.

“I’ll tell ye fit, jist you bide there and I’ll go and git a tape misher fae Boolie and we’ll seen

fin oot hoo much ye’ve grown”, said Uncle as he turned awa.

Twa meenits later back he cam wi’ the tape.

Meanwhile John had gone ootside far he had left a sledge hemmer for the purpose of

what they were aboot tae inflict on poor Beel.

“Richt Beel you jist stan’ against the door and I will mak a mark level wi’ the top o’ yer

head and we will misher it fae there” said Uncle backin him up against the door.  Beel

anxious tae kane if he had grown did as he wis telt, nae suspectin fit wis gaun tae happen

tae him.

As he stood against the door as straicht as possible Uncle gave a chap, the signal for

John. Swinging the hemmer wi’ a’ his micht John fairly battered the door.

Poor Beel didna ken fit strook him he wint oot lik a licht!.

Later on fin he cam roon wi’ Boolie lookin’ doon at him askin if he wis aricht, he replied

“Aye, bit fit happened I’ve niver been mishered lik’ that afore”.

Needless tae say the twa lummers had disappeared roon tae the slip oot o’ the wye

thinkin’ that they had deen awa wi’ him.